Like a bus going down the road in second gear with its
throttle wide open, our old, old educational system works desperately to creep
along at about half speed, and instead of finding a higher gear, we just burn
out motors running at red line RPM's.
We're obliged to drive on the shoulder of the road; the
educational systems of other countries use modern transmissions (which ours
isn't), or transmissions that aren't broken (which ours is). Their kids zoom
past us at 80, 90, 100 miles an hour, while we just plug along.
Oh, we have some awfully good teachers! We've got high
performance teachers that run on jet fuel! We just need a better transmission,
a better system. But instead, we get by on the cheap and exhort our teachers to
do still more and run faster.
Sometimes people wonder: Why don't those teachers work
harder? Why don't those kids do their homework? Add another math class! More
requirements for graduation! That's the stuff! Add more days to the school
year! Yes, and longer days! Send them to school on Saturdays! The solution is,
more hours in school! That's the ticket! Whip 'em into shape, by God! Work
more! Work faster! Race that engine!
So we do. And although we poke along, we are proud of the
fact that we teach all the kids. Every one of them has an equal right to the
same "free" public education. So we do our best to make sure the kids
stay on the bus and exercise their only choice. In the good old USA, they have
no other.
But my, oh my, doesn't this old jalopy move slowly?
Speed limits on the interstate highway are understandable,
but the speed limit we impose upon education by equipping it with an inferior
system is ridiculous. Practically everybody is beating us, Europe, the Far
East, even Canada!
Instead of putting the highly motivated kids who have
advanced aptitudes, collegiate interests, and solid learning skills into the
fast lanes and the kids with other ambitions (and yes, the slower kids too -
but they're not all slow) on entirely different roads to good vocations,
valuable and essential technical jobs, and certification through on the job
training, we just crowd 'em all into one big, cumbersome, cheap rattle-trap of
a vehicle and hold the pedal to the metal.
We make that motor scream! Hear her screaming? We parse,
parse, parse all the time! This old contraption may not have a higher gear, but
it's got lower ones, so when we feel we have to, we can jam 'er down one more
and make education crawl! Teacher enrichment programs show us all how to do it:
Grind the subject matter smaller and make every last one of these kids swallow
it! Shove it down their throats as fast as you can! If it doesn't fit, grind it
some more! Grind it to dust, by God! Water it down a little if you have to.
Turn it into mush. Make them all study the tiny steps on the way to our
devastation - er - destination!
Some kids already got it. Doesn't matter! Stuff them like
geese with this mush! A little extra mush can't hurt. Education foie gras!
We'll teach all of them. Everyone will get the mush!
Some want to skip ahead. No! Not so fast! Learn the steps!
Drill! Drill! When they get too persnippity about it, we simply activate
"student participation." Oh wait! Look! There's one now! - Hey, kid!
Wait a minute! Hey! Get back here! Stay on the bus! Listen! Do the little steps!
Yeah, I know you got 'em. Do 'em again anyway, over and over. You just want to
move on - stubborn, huh? Well then, get over there in that group. Help those
other kids with the mush. Make sure they all get it. Then we'll move on. - Why
are you so passive?
What? You're exhausted?
What's wrong with these kids, anyway? Never mind! Drill 'em
with details!
The ol' bus is slowin' down. We're not going to get all of
them all the way "there," I know. But what matters is, we teach all
the kids! Yes, sir! And no one is allowed to go too, too, too far ahead.
Hey! Get back here! Who are you to go running ahead? Get
back on pace with the rest of us, on the bus! We got something else for you to
learn!
It's hard to control the little rascals sometimes, isn't it?
But we must keep them in school; keep them on pace! - Hey you! Where do you
think you're going? Thinking of dropping out? What then? You're going to need
your diploma. Not learning much? Doesn't matter! Get through, get out, get your
diploma. Stay with the program, kid. This is the only vehicle we've got! Let's
see ... how many days of school have you missed already?
If we could give them better, we would. But we're already
grinding this stuff to pabulum for the slow kids. And sure, it would be nice if
we had rocket sleds for the faster ones so we could give them all the knowledge
they want, but that would be favoritism, elitism. We don't do that here in the
USA.
So kids, just put up with it. Doesn't matter whether you
possess high performance minds and souls equipped with talent and all essential
skills accumulated from elementary school through middle school, doesn't matter
whether you could move twice as fast on foot as the speed this system rolls
along. There'll be no favoritism here. We don't treat you like you're somebody
special. And if you can't keep up because you need a whole different
environment to learn to the best of your potential - well, that would just be a
different kind of "special," wouldn't it? And we certainly don't want
to treat you like a second-class citizen, do we? No! We don't do things any
other way. Stay on the bus.
Teachers, what's that you say? No, don't even bother telling
me - no, no! It makes no difference that you've got kids whose genius lies in
other areas of life (such as talent for cutting and fitting materials together,
or an eye for blending colors, or manual dexterity beyond belief). It is
immaterial that those kids don't like our system, or that some academic skills
will always remain unattainable for them. We don't have time, and we can't
afford to consider honoring their abilities and helping them develop their
talents any farther. Put the realities out of your mind and keep them in that
big bus and teach all of them calculus and physics and Shakespeare, Shakespeare,
Shakespeare!
So on we travel, all locked up together on the way to
College Prepville.
But surprise, kids! We never really go there. We only go as
far as the outskirts, a well-known suburb known as Mediocrity, USA.
Here we are.
Oh, I know some of you will go the rest of the way on your
own, but this is as far as we will
actually take you.
Before you get off the bus, let me tell you why we never let
kids move ahead until they finish their senior year: You must get good scores.
You need to pursue that 4.0 GPA, the ticket to a free ride on the next bus!
Money! College! And you must learn to guess right on your standardized tests.
We teach you how to get the good scores, if you cooperate. And if you
cooperate, you make us look good. The scores are everything. That's the name of
the game, kids.
What's that? Does a 4.0 signify that you're ready for
college? Well no, a 4.0 doesn't, not automatically.
What a 4.0 signifies is, some very few of you are indeed
brilliant, have indeed accumulated the requisite knowledge and skills in spite
of our slow pace, and have even had time, perhaps, owing to your gifted
intelligence and motivation, to sneak off frequently for some enrichment
activities. I'd like to say goodbye to those kids first, and thanks, for - where'd they go? Oh! They already
left - went ahead, I see. Well, great! But no need to concern ourselves with
them - or the dropouts, I guess. We did the best we could to keep them with the
program. They're on their own now. Their choice!
But others of you perfect 4.0 students who are still here: A
lot of you just went after the GPA itself, didn't you? Oh, I see you smiling,
there. You know just what I mean, don't you, young lady? Well, you're in
Mediocrity. You took some of the easier courses available. And let's face it:
You cut a few corners, isn't that so? Got someone else to do your paper for
you, didn't you? Oh, another smile from one of our esteemed lads. Well, young
fellow, you might have a little ways to go, but you stayed with the program for
the most part and never actually got caught cheating. You'll be ready for
college - probably, sort of - maybe. You have to walk the rest of the way yourself;
you might have to take a remedial class or two when you get there. But you'll
be OK because you stayed with the program, pretty much. And you made us look
good - well, most of the time you did. Thanks. Get out of the bus now.
And some of you, you rascals! Some of you took the harder
courses, didn't you? Well, you know what that did to you: You got a 3.7, or a
3.5. And you could have had a better GPA, but you hopped off the bus and ran
way, way ahead of us much too often! For shame!
We appreciate that you scored well on standardized tests and
made us look good, most of the time, when you cared to. Thanks. But you could
have done better. When you were supposed to be doing homework on one thing, you
were following your fervent interest in another subject. We never taught you to
do that. You ran far out in front, often forgoing our scheduled deliveries of
knowledge and gorging yourselves instead on math concepts we don't teach,
reading all you could find on nuclear physics, pursuing your interest in
Faulkner by consuming almost everything he wrote, or getting much too involved
in drama or athletics, and not attending to your foreign language class!
There's not enough time for all that, children! You must understand, our system
does not promote your pursuit of passionate interests; that makes it too hard
to stay connected with what's happening! But you'll be fine. Go away now.
Others of you hung around most of the time but didn't get
everything we parsed. You're a big group! You did well enough, high two's and
low three's on your GPA, fair to middling. And yes, yes, now that you've
graduated, you'll get to where you want to be, won't you? And most of you are
truly ready for college, aren't you? But too many of you never took your
standardized tests seriously. That's awfully selfish of you, to come to school
to learn and prepare for your future, and not strive a little harder at the
minutia to make us look better. You could have, you know; you've got the
talent.
Oh, what a frustration you were to our system! You just had
to go out ahead after your interests, just like those others. Then when it came
time to try hard on your tests, you showed us absolutely no appreciation. Your
standardized scores are all over the place. ACT's were good, but on a lot of
the other tests you filled in the dots to make pictures of cartoon characters!
Were you trying to send us a message? We do not appreciate kids like you on
this bus! - But heck, you'll be all right. You can walk the rest of the way to
college. Get out of the bus. Go away now.
And the rest of you - a large group again, as always - who
earned a 2.0 or less. OK, here are the facts: Kids, you're in Mediocrity, and
it's your fault we never got further, yours and the teachers' who just didn't
push you hard enough. You were our greatest burden. You always are.
Students like you make us look really bad. You bring us
down, not just by drawing cartoon characters on your standardized bubble
sheets, either! You get into the habit of shutting down all the time! You sit
there in class, but you only learn enough to pass from one year to the next!
Oh, you strive hard all right! You strive hard to find bottom in every class
you take, and then you just make sure you float along a little ways above it!
You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!
But I hope you see that we tried to teach even you,
especially you! Why do you think we kept this thing in second gear all the time
and fed you so much mush? It was for you
guys!
Oh, and by the way, stay out of college! You're not ready!
Go back where you belong.
Remember when you had the urge to make that turn in ninth
grade and follow the road to the life you want? Yes, you were right, that's the
road for you. But that's not a choice for you while you're in a USA public
school.
Hey, kids, we had to
get you ready for college. Why?
Well, mostly because it's the only vehicle we've got.
But we can offer you other reasons: We do not condone
elitism here. We do not treat any of you as "special." Besides, maybe
you'll change your mind about college someday and decide to go, so we had to
get you ready. But despite all that, you're not really ready for college.
Oh, don't cry now! Some of you tried hard sometimes, thanks.
Some of you did your best, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Enough! Hey, let's face it, you never were cut out for
college, and yes, just like you thought back in eighth grade, the learning of
calculus and the practicing of the intricacies of writing scholarly term papers
won't do you too much good.
So it's wash out time. Get out of here. That's right.
Everybody out. No shoving, please.
And remember! Don't go to college, OK? A college will just
wonder where you came from. And when they find out, we'll look bad.
Go back and find a nice tech program. Hey, I remember you;
you like carpentry, right? Great. Good luck now. Go away.
Oh, and you pay for the rest of your education yourself,
understand? This United States of America public ed. bus doesn't go there, not
for you or anyone else.
OK! Back to middle school! Bus is empty! Load up the next
group! All aboard!
